Trust Issues

By the time our son had entered into our family at age one, his previous caretaker’s unschooled practices and interactions with him had already shattered his fragile trust into a million pieces. He had already determined, because of those past experiences, that those put in charge of taking care of him were not reliable and that he would need to look out for himself as much as possible. Ultimately, he didn’t see his old caretakers as “good”. We call it a part of “the old blueprint”. Little did these rookie parents comprehend that we would be spending the next several years trying to rebuild that broken trust of our little boy. However, when trust has been broken or when it has never truly been established, it is a daunting mountain to navigate.

As we fast forward eight years the process continues, but dramatic improvements have been realized. It has literally taken years of repetitively “coming through” for him, to reestablish trust. No longer does he have to depend upon himself or an unreliable source for survival. No longer does he have no voice. He now has a loving mother and father, a reliable source. He has loving caretakers that know what he needs before he even realizes he needs it. We are by NO means perfect parents, but our son now knows that we are good, and because we are good he can trust us.

As Holy Spirit began speaking to me about what trust means, that picture of our relationship with our son would not leave my thought process. It is really a microcosm of our relationship with our Father. We all have or have had our own trust issues that we battle. Maybe it’s because we have been burned by someone in our past and we put that on God. Maybe it’s because we feel like He didn’t come through in the way we wanted Him to. Maybe it’s because we haven’t received healing for a physical problem we might be facing. Maybe we don’t feel that our basic needs will be attended to. In any case, I believe if we dig below the surface we might find that the root cause has a lot to do with whether or not we believe in the goodness of God.

What does trust actually mean? The dictionary defines it like this: “A firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.”

There are a ton of scriptures about trust, but one that stands out to me is Psalm 9:10, which says in the NLT, “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

The AMP version says it like this, “And those who know Your name [who have experienced Your precious mercy] will put their confident trust in You,…”

This scripture is basically saying, If you know Him…if you have experienced Him, you know He is good. If you know Him, you are confident in His reliability and you can bank on His strength. If you know anything about Him, you can rest assured that He loves you. Therefore, trust comes easily. But before we can really trust, we must actually believe that God is good.

A quote I read recently by Mother Teresa said this, “Total surrender involves loving trust. You cannot surrender totally unless you trust lovingly and totally. Jesus trusted His Father because He knew Him, He knew of His love.

As it relates to our son, there are times that we still have to remind him that his needs will be met. We still have to revisit the fact that we will come through for him. We still have to meet his needs and be there when he’s having a hard day. But God doesn’t have to remind us of this fact or prove anything to us. We must remind ourselves about who He is. He doesn’t change, but our circumstances do. Life get’s difficult sometimes and when it does, it is really easy to lose sight of how good He is. If we don’t remind ourselves of His love and His compassion for us, we are prone to forget just how trustworthy our Father is and that He knows what we need before we need it.

Why is it so important that we learn to trust? Here are a few reasons I came up with over the past few days:

* If we can’t trust, we can’t rest.
– “You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.” -Isaiah 26:3

* If we can’t trust, we can’t receive.
– “I tell you the truth, you can pray for anything and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” -Mark 11:24

* Trust leads to strength.
– “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. The will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faith.” -Isaiah 40:31

* Trust leads us out of darkness.
– “…If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the Lord and rely on your God.” -Isaiah 50:10

* Trust leads to inheritance!
– “…But whoever trusts in me will inherit the land and possess my holy mountain.” -Isaiah 57:13

* Trust develops closeness.
– “The Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him.” -Nahum 1:7

* Trust produces hope.
– “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Romans 15:13

Good, healthy relationships are built upon trust. From the moment our feet touch the floor after a long nights sleep, we have a thousand opportunities to practice leaning into his goodness before our heads return to the pillow. My desire is to live from my “new blueprint” and remember that He really is a good Father. He is the Ulitimate Caretaker who knows what we need before we even realize we need it.

He is literally perfect in EVERY way. He can be trusted.