Reflections on Turning 30, Am I Just Living Safely?

Last week I turned 30 years old.  I would complain about it except that I’m too thankful to have made it this far.  The first 30 years of my life have been so amazing.  During that time I found the love of my life, received a decent education, learned some great lessons, kicked off my IT career, adopted a baby from India, bought my first house, made tons of friends, enjoyed great times with my family, walked away from car wrecks, decided to surrender my life to a Holy God, and the list goes on.  I am truly thankful that I have been so loved, protected, fortunate, blessed, and favored.

But as I kick off what really is the second chapter of my life (as I see it).  I have begun to contemplate what I want to accomplish and be a part of next.  I wish I knew what was peeking around the corner at me, but at the same time I’m afraid it would freak me out.  With that being said, I know I must follow my heart and what God places there.  As the proverbial finger is dampened and the first few pages of the new chapter are revealed, I fully expect to see something different than what happened in the previous.

There are desires and interests in my heart that I know are strategically placed there by The One who knows my story from beginning to end.  But how do I transition into the new chapter and relieve the sense of urgency I feel?  I’m not even sure where to start honestly.  What I do know is that I don’t want to step in a direction that God hasn’t ordained.  However, one of my greatest fears is reaching the end of my life and realizing I didn’t live out the plan of God for my life because I was afraid of taking risks.  And if we are all honest with ourselves, risk avoidance is the number one obstacle that holds us back.  In my previous blog, I reference my Type A personality.  Those of us who are fortunate/unfortunate enough to be blessed with this personality usually battle with taking risks.  We had rather play it safe by making sure tomorrow is “taken care of”.

The first 30 years of my life was riddled with instances of living life carefully and with self-imposed limitations.  My desire today is to trust less in my abilities, my false strength, and my limited plan for my life.  I want the next 30 years to look less like me and much more like God.  After all, is it really that big of a risk to follow God when we know He is in complete control?

Type A Personality vs. Creativity

In general, I don’t necessarily see myself as a very creative person, relative to dreaming or “thinking outside the box”.  My Type A personality often leads me down a path of rule following and by the book methods, excessive stresses, impatience, being too practical, etc.  Those personality traits certainly have enviable qualities; they keep me out of trouble most of the time and also allow people to trust me with tasks, knowing that they will be completed successfully in a timely manner.

However, I think it is enormously important that I desire to attain or tap into traits and gifts that I don’t feel I currently utilize.  This is especially true when it comes to creative thinking.  It is more than likely that we all have the God-given ability to think creatively; it just comes more naturally to some than it does others.  Too often, when I need to be creative I realize that I have allowed my habits, my daily routine, and my perfectionist tendencies to lock me into an imaginary box.  I realize those things make me view things only one certain way.  If I allow my daily thought patterns to become too predictable my perspective has a propensity to be predictable.

Today I’m asking the Creator to help me break out and stay out of the imaginary box my personality and thought patterns try to keep me in.  1 Corinthians 2:16 says, “we have the mind of Christ”.  That gives me hope today!